Week 1 Wrap (08-09)

So it begins again. We waste our time worrying about Tom Brady's knee,
Ricky Williams smoking, and Chad Johnson losing his mind and his last
name. I waste my time writing this stuff. But we love it, especially
my write-ups, I know, I know.

Week 1 matchup of the week goes to Brandon/Jim (Chunder Blunders -
84.70) and I (Juicers - 90.05). I win by less than a TD, getting a lot
of TDs but not a lot of yards. Both teams had a mix of very good
scores (Barber, Peterson, Burleson, Bowe, both Defenses) and terrible
scores (Chad 85, Todd Heap, Fred Taylor). Some of the terrible scores
were higher picks, too. One week won't tell the whole story, but we've
both got to be wondering if we have more holes than we thought.
Brandon wins 'highest losing score' of the week, but only would have
beaten one winner. I'd like to think that my #1 and #3 pick RBs
leaving their games injured made this closer than it should have been,
but we'll see.

And that loser of the winners goes to Mike (Zingers - 79.57) again,
over Miah (Shakers and Quakers - 67.32). Mike was the massive
luckstick winner from last year, and this year keeps the ball rolling
with the lowest winning score. He would have beaten 6 other teams
though so maybe it's not so bad. It's more the consistency than any
one event. We who played in 2006 have nearly forgotten Brandon's
luckstickyness, it's all Zingers these days. The most disgusting part
is Mike starts Josh Cribbs, simply because he's from Kent St, and
Cribbs doesn't even play. Meanwhile Michael Turner, who could have
started in the flex spot instead, had the best performance of any WR
or RB, rots on Mike's bench. Miah only gets 3 TDs from his team which
helps bury him. A few disappointing scores, too. Week 1 jitters or
something more? Miah brings up the rear this week with the lowest
score.

Highest score goes to newcomer Ben Berger (thehousebergerbuilt -
138.29) who types his team team name like a juvenile chat room user.
Ben fills in on Dateline to help catch child predators, so it's just
habit. He datelines Uncle Chris (Space Cadets - 83.55) even though
Uncle C hasn't traded away his best players yet, this year. Uncle
Chris puts up a good score, just barely falling to Brandon for best
losing score. Ben gets banner days from Willie Parker, who scores more
TDs in week 1 than he did for me all last season, and from McNabb, who
apparently hasn't been injured yet. Probably the best scores from
those 2 players for the whole season, and our new #1 is flush with
confidence. If only you could see his chats. Not the Dateline ones I
mean. Uncle Chris gets good scores from T.O. and Baltimore's defense.
Two parties that are either cheating or wish they were. Ben wins the
matchup and the 'worst team name' award.

Jacob (Miracle Workers - 117.28) defeats Stitch (Rust Belt - 78.69). I
think the Cowboys crushed Stitch's spirit long before Jake got to him
though. Jake has kind of a weird stat line, with the players I'd
expect to be good being bad, and vice versa. Exceptions are Brees and
Cotchery. Buffalo's D looked great, but the Seahawks looked awful,
too. That tells a lot of the story, since Stitch has Seattle's D and
Maurice Morris, where Jake had Buffalo's D. Huge point disparity. The
big RBs in the matchup all did poorly except Reggie Bush, but it's
early yet. Both QBs, Brees and Romo, look great.

Ma Kearney (Rockhoppers - 103.83) wins the Kearney women matchup over
Kate (teen girl squad - 71.96). Kate's Garrard loses that mojo that
kept him from throwing picks, or is it just that awesome Tennessee D?
Also McGahee doesn't play for the Ratbirds, and no one really does
awesome to make up for the few bad performances. Mom has Rivers go off
and Frank Gore get a lone score for the 49ers. Man if the 49ers were
any good I might have drafted him. Mom has a thing for Franks though
so she got to him first. In this matchup we can see the worth of
defenders changing, as McGee makes enough plays on the field from Mom
to beat out Kate's return man who even ran back a TD.

The Texas matchup has Kevin C-H (Buc-ee's Boys (must you have a hyphen
in your team name, too?) - 88.57) over Shonda and Ray Winkler (Sooners
- 70.95). Tom Brady getting hurt is the story, though, and the first
huge injury of the season is in the books. Brady could have made up
that deficit possibly, but Shonda and Ray have more to worry about
now. Should have taken your boy Romo! They get good scores otherwise
but nothing to crow about. Matt Forte looks great for Kevin and may be
a difference maker for the season. Good points elsewhere lets Kevin
walk fro this week.

Dad (Chumpbeaters - 96.65) doesn't have Brady this year, fortunately
for him, and beats Dave Rowan (Aspire Mi Toro - 70.96). Instead he has
Brett Favre, who I believe he made fun of last year. Apparently
retiring makes Favre more interesting for Dad. Team graybeard. Rowan
can't get any TDs and has too many Rams on his team to be able to win
much. Dad's WRs in Wayne and Eddie Royal pay off. I have to admit I
had my eye on Royal, but I wanted to see what happened with him in
week 1. Dad had the guts to pick him up and start him, even without
Brandon Marshall playing opposite him, and it pays off huge. What a
rookie WR performance. But Coles doesn't do anything, and Favre may
have found other targets.

That does it for week one. I'm worn out. Remember that the weekend
waivers end tonight, so get your waiver picks in if you want them. You
can do as many as you want, but remember that the more you use it the
lower your priority will be. If you have questions about it you can
use the online help or ask away.

I may start a group blog on which I can post this stuff, and people
can make comments and such, or post themselves. It seems like a better
way to track this stuff. Posting it on the League website would be
cruddy since it's kind of meant for shorter messages. Let me know what
you think if you care.

Have fun,
Frank