Week 12: Miah (%$#&$, 119.33) over Joan (Rockhoppers, 99.76)

Seeing as how Frank X. has become disgruntled, leading him to abdicate his blogging duties, I'll take a shot at writing up a randomly-chosen contest. I'll leave it to others to sing the praises of my own breathtaking performance this week.

Miah has sunk to a new low this week, even though he won his contest. I speak, of course, of his ever-changing team name, which continues its trajectory toward the lewd and obnoxious end of the taste scale. I, for one, think this trend really sucks.

Anyway, Miah beat up on his friend's poor defenseless mother, defeating her by posting the second-highest score of the week. This was made possible by a blowout performance from Randy Moss, and good performances by Tom Jones (What's new, pussycat?), Rian Lindell, and the Tampa Bay D. The rest of his roster was unremarkable, but didn't stink too bad. I'll bet he's indifferent about the plight of the whales, too.

Joan (aka "Sis", "Mom", and "Mistress Olivia") carded a decent score, but it was only good enough for 7th place this week. Philip Rivers, Kevin Walter, Chester Taylor, and the Dallas D (BOO! HISS!) did a pretty good job for her, but her #1 and #2 RBs (Gore and Lewis) stunk the joint out. Still, Joan would have needed solid performances from both of them to overcome the 20-point deficit. She only left about 5 points on the bench, so starting Eli wouldn't have helped either. (Oh - Eli's coming. You'd better, better hide your heart. Or start him all the way to the Super Bowl.)

Well, that about exhausts my supply of gratuitous insults, bad puns, and obscure song references. Feel free to try to do better!

Anyone else?

Anyone else want to do a write up this week? Maybe even just do one of the matchups and let others do the rest?
I'm going to have trouble getting to it this week. I have a lot of video games to play and tv to watch.

State of the WOHS Week 10

*1. Juicers 9-1-0 .900 967.82
2. Miracle Workers 8-2-0 .800 1091.15
3. thehousebergerbuilt 8-2-0 .800 1006.59
4. Space Cadets 6-4-0 .600 924.34
5. Buc-ees' Boys 6-4-0 .600 892.84
6. Zingers 5-5-0 .500 942.51
7. teen girl squad 5-5-0 .500 894.31
8. Rust Belt 5-5-0 .500 892.80
9. RockHoppers 5-5-0 .500 883.84
10. Sooners 4-6-0 .400 843.18
11. Chunder Blunders 3-7-0 .300 841.12
12. Desparados! 2-8-0 .200 878.00
13. Browns Jr. 2-8-0 .200 815.80
14. Aspire mi toro 2-8-0 .200 717.71

Stitch (Rust Belt-93.40) over Kate (teen girl squad-71.46)

Kate loses again to bring her down to the middle of the pack again. Stitch wins to bring himself up the 5-5 middle and the last playoff spot at the moment. Poor Kate leaves McGahee on the bench who drops a 20 point bomb after doing nothing for so long. Poor, poor Kate. Stitch leaves Tony Romo on the bench who was on a bye and scored 0 but would have been better than the awful Mark Bulger. Who got benched at half after putting up a nice negative fantasy day.
Stitch again leave his D on the bench instead of playing them. We've talked about hitting the 'Submit' button but I don't think his education is doing him any favors. Kent read, Kent write, Kent hit the submit button.
Meldewe Moore has one last good game? Cribbs and Gates come through and Steve Breaston looks like a real option as the #3 in Arizona. Kate doesn't get much of anything from anyone, though no one is especially awful either. Just poor or mediocre across the board, except for Will Blackmon running back a kick return TD. Kate you need to hold a team meeting and build some team unity for the stretch run here. And trade me Jason Witten, he's a locker room cancer.

Me (Juicers-89.68) over the Winklers (Sooners-85.79)

I get the luckstick award this week with the lowest winning score. Although I could have beaten 5 of the 13 other teams, and took two injuries on the starting lineup. But still pretty lucky all the same. Lance Moore continues to shine as a late season pickup, but only because of a junk-time score in the Saint's debacle. Barber was on the bench DeAngelo Williams was the best RB in the matchup, which is kinda strange to say. I had a huge comeback from down 35 Monday night, wich Warner and Fitzgerald making the spread against Hightower. Warner continues as the best fantasy QB, which is a big saving grace for me. The Winklers have better even numbers, but Gus Frerotte looks poor. Kevin Boss is actually a good tight end, too, which is pretty hard to find this year. But they lack the big score to overcome the QB bad score, and that gives me the opening to win.

Brandon/Jim (Chunder Blunders-127.20) over Jeremiah (Browns Jr 110.51)

The Chunders put up their best score of the season with good timing. Also the top score this week. They take down Jere who posts the highest losing score this week. Jere beats 9 other teams this week, but plays one of the 4 he can't handle. Maybe with a defender? Nah...
Brandon gets awesome RB1 and RB2 points, but the flex does still stink. Faulk doesn't show up strangely after being such a big part of the offense for a few weeks. Peterson and Jacobs more than make up for it though. Colston really comes back and Carolina's D must have been great to win with Delhomme playing like a wet blanket.
Miah's Moss and Edwards continue to stink, but he gets good scores from a lot of other players. And the Jets D does even better than Carolina's. Thomas Jones also goes nuts in that game against St. Louis.
This matchup was the rookie QB stand-off, but both guys play well. The top scoring matchup this week is the battle of the 2-7s. Further proving how much of a crapshoot this is.

Dad (Desperados!-115.62) over Jacob (Miracle Workers-82.55)

Ben wasn't the only 8-1 team to fall. Jake also puts up a bad score, his first, really, but somehow it doesn't turn out so low as you would expect knowing his roster. Addai, Cotchery, Chris Johnson, Drew Brees, Calvin Johnson... we didn't hear from these guys this week. But Calvin did get some yards even though he had 2 catches. And Brees scored a ton of points despite playing a terrible game. Jake drops below 100 two straight weeks, which is remarkable in that it hasn't happened until now. Dad puts up an excellent score. Favre actually takes care of the ball but only gets one TD out of the 1000 against St. Louis. But Eddie Royal, Scaife, and Reggie Wayne all do well. Many other players with decent points or so as well. If you looked at just the scores you would think the other team was the 1-8 team. But that's the fantasy football.

Mike (Zingers-111.34) over Ben (thehousebergerbuilt-50.70)

Non-game of the week #2.
Mike gets 45 points from Jay Cutler destroying his beloved Browns. Brandon Marshall scores a bunch of points as well. Even Mercedes Lewis scores a few points. But really the story here is Cutler. Ben barely scores more points than Cutler alone, and when Ricky Williams who you just picked up off the Free Agent list is your best player, you are hosed. Although Ricky does have a pretty good week, strangely. It seemed as if Ronnie Brown was getting all the touches, but now maybe Williams is back in the mix.

Kevin (Buc-ee's Boys-113.92) over Rowan (Aspire mi Toro-42.82)

Non-game of the week #1.
Rowan takes 2 0s. One his own fault (Steven Jackson isn't playing dude) and one from Chancey Stuckey, who has actually done some nice stuff for Row. But Stuckey didn't score any of the Jet's 1000 TDs against the Rams and didn't catch a pass, either. Meanwhile Winslow rots on the bench scoring TDs and kicking ass. Kevin has nice numbers from Ronnie Brown and Matt Forte, which has to be some of the nicest numbers from two low pick RBs. Peyton Manning continues his comeback. And Ray Lewis goes nuts buy manages not to kill anyone outside any clubs. That we heard of, yet.
Rowan is the low scorer of the week, and falls to last place.

Mom (Rockhoppers-103.25) over Uncle Chris (Space Cadets-102.02)

Game of the week! Mom could have been on the outside looking in at the playoffs, but is now a mere 9 tiebreaker points away. Uncle Chris comes storming back from way down on Monday night, but Boldin doesn't quite do it and Mom stays on top with an uneven performance from Frank Gore. Unfortunately Uncle Chris had the fatal early QB injury... oh wait... Delhomme didn't get injured? And Carolina still won the game? Only the Raiders patheticness outdoes Delhomme's. Uncle Chris gets a total of 81 points from Baltimore's D/ST, MoJo Drew, Boldin, and Ginn. And not much else. Mom's Chris Chamber's hardly plays and doesn't catch a pass, but still gets nice even large numbers elsewhere to pull it out.

Playoffs

Playoffs?!
Yeah I'm in the playoffs already. Clinched. Hopefully 7 of you can join me up here.